Dead or Alive
by countryislife95
Summary: (from episode "Dead or Alive" in S4.) What would've happened if one of the kidnapped hadn't of been saved? How would Sully and his family handle the loss? What would happen to McBride?


"Sully, over here!" Robert E called.

Sully looked where Robert E was pointing, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Matthew was slumped against a tree, his head hanging unnaturally. He looked dead, and Sully feared the worst. He ran over to Matthew and knelt down to feel his pulse. Nothing. He listened for a heartbeat. Nothing. Sully began shaking. "Matthew! Matthew! C'mon Matthew, it's me! I'm here now, you're okay! Matthew?!" Sully's voice broke. No, his son was not dead. He couldn't be. He gently put his hands around Matthew's neck and quickly recoiled. "Is it broke?" Hank asked quietly. Sully merely nodded. He felt like the world had stopped. He couldn't see anything except Matthew's lifeless body in front of him, and he couldn't hear anything except the pounding of his heart. And the silence of Matthew's. Sully didn't know how long he stayed there in a trance until Robert E touched his arm and asked if he was going after McBride. Sully again only nodded. "We need to bury him and be moving on. I'm sorry for your loss Mr. Sully, but there's nothing more to be done. We came out here and accomplished our mission. My son is alive and safe now, so we must be going," said Senator. For the first time Sully turned to look at the group around him. They noticed a distant, broken look in his eyes. It was obvious he was doing all he could to keep from breaking down. When he spoke his voice was cold and empty. "You all go on then. Your son's alive, but mine isn't. And the man who killed him is in these woods somewhere. I'm goin' after him, alone. So you might as well just leave now." Preston, Senator, Jake, and Hank all turned to leave but Robert E stopped them. "Wait. Sully, I know what you must be thinkin' now about findin' McBride. But you ain't ever gonna catch him in the day light. You're better off goin' out there at nightfall. Just come back to camp with us. We're not goin' anywhere." He gave a sharp look to the other men. Sully knew he was right. He slowly stood up and picked up Matthew's body. The thought of burying his oldest boy made his heart break. He didn't throw Matthew over his shoulders like he had with Preston. He held Matthew in his arms and carried him with such care and love, as if he was holding something very fragile. Sully tried not to focus on the cold and lifeless feeling of his body. When the group of men got back to camp, Sully dug a hole. And just as he finished, he thought twice. "I ain't burying him here. Michaela and the kids need to see him one last time. And Matthew deserves a real funeral and respectable burying place." So with a heavy heart he wrapped Matthew's body in blankets and covered him. Before night approached Sully went off to be alone, and Robert E decided to talk to him. He found Sully sitting by a small creek, clenching his fists and throwing rocks with far too much power and anger. He sat down next to his grieving friend. "Sully, I can't imagine what you must be feelin'. But I'm here if you wanna talk about it. It ain't good to let all that pain swell up inside." Sully looked up to the sky and breathed heavily. His voice and breath were shaky when he spoke. "It's my fault. I shoulda watched him, gone straight after him. Never shoulda let it get to this. How can I face Michaela and the kids? I promised I'd keep him safe. They'll never forgive me." Tears began to pour down Sully's face; Robert E put a hand on his shoulder. "The one who can't forgive you is yourself. This ain't your fault, Sully. Dr. Mike knows you'd go to the ends of the earth to protect those kids. But there was nothin' you could do this time." Sully suddenly lashed out. "Matthew's dead, Robert E! I should've done anything to keep that from happenin'!" Robert E sighed and became very quiet. He whispered, "No man should live to see his child die." Sully simply looked to the sky again and then said, "Be dark soon, better be goin'." He went back to the campsite with Robert E close behind. Preston attacked him right away. "If you think for a second that you're going to get that reward money for capturing McBride I'll -" Sully grabbed the arrogant banker by the collar and glared at him. His voice was low and menacing. "All I want is to find the man who murdered my son. And when I do, I'll kill him with my bare hands. There ain't gonna be any reward money for that." He let go of Preston roughly and grabbed his tomahawk. Sully turned to the men. "You wait here when I'm gone." Hank asked how long he'd be gone. "However long it takes." Sully replied. And with that he flew through the trees into the night.


End file.
